goodbye...

E tot, e pustiu, cata durerea-n mineSi cata dragoste si toata, toata-i pentru tineNu inteleg ce fac pe lumeCand nu ma vrei aproapeNu ma visezi in noapteAsa cum te visezDar eu plec, iar tu ramaiSi-ti mai doresc iubirea care-am vrutSa ti-o ofer atat de multPoate acum, cand nu mai suntVei intelege sper...Dar va fi tarziuSi eu ma înalt spre cerRefrenSi eu ma inalt spre cerSi simt ca te las in gerul meuCand ploaie va fi pe pamantTu vei sti ca despre tine cantCand soare va fi pe pamantTu vei sti...ca despre tine cantNu mi-a ramas nici-o sperantaTu le-ai ars pe toateSi cata dragoste ai ars nu vei afla vreodataIti amintesti de ziua-n careVroiam sa-ti daruiesc o floare?tu gingas mi-ai soptit ca pleciIar eu raman...Nu, eu plec, iar tu ramaiSi-ti mai doresc iubirea care-am vrutSa ti-o ofer atat de multPoate acum, cand nu mai suntVei intelege, sper...Dar va fi tarziuSi eu ma inalt spre cerNumai durerea mea e pe pamantUltima data despre tine cantPastrez in suflet numele tau sfantToata vïata ti-o dau...
Nu sunt fan al artistului (Dan Balan) dar versurile mi se potrivesc...

I could think of a thousand ways to say goodbye. Everyone thinks that saying "goodbye" to someone is almost the hardest thing to do but it`s actually the easyest thing to do...just let two simple words come out of your mought "good...bye". The thing about goodbyes is not saying it...is keeping it that way, keeping your "promisse" to those people that don`t expect to see you never again, never hear from you.
So before I close this blogg let me tell you about someone who once was kindof a girlfriend of mine...sounds borring, I know but we`ve mett about three years ago when I first camed back home and our relationship was more a deep friendship than romance( actualy there was no romance at all). Anyway I started to like her because she always tried to make me laugh, aldough verry often she didn`t succeded. Anyway I was confused at that time and I didn`t know what I wanted from life (actualy I still don`t know what I want)...so after a short while we broked up and didn`t talked to eachother for some time. Now we are good friends going in two sepparate ways in our lifes.
The End.


Goodbye everyone

happy sweet nineteen

This is a special article for a special girl who soon will turn nineteen years old.
I said she`s a special girl because she is one of verry few people that didn`t judged me for my actions, is one of the few persons that gained my trust (wich is not an easy thing to do), one of the few that accepted me for who I am...
She`s the only one that tooked me about eighteen mounths to convince to have a cup of coffee with me and then verry surprisely to me she accepted to go with me to the movies from a simple request.
[I could say that those two days were some of the happyest days of my life. I can also say that those days maked me change my life in good because she showd me that there are people in this world who want to do good things not only to destroy everything taey touch.]
So thru this article I wish her a HAPPY SWEET NINETEEN lots of luck and happyness and everything lese she wishes to come true.
In the end I want her to know that I don`t judge her if sometimes she firgot to do something or give something or evan tell me something...afterall I`m used to this kind of things and the questions that I have will always be a memory of her and I will never firget her smile when I gived her the rose.
Once again these are just words in my mind and I don`t give a damn if some low-life dumb dick doesn`t like it or if he/she has a problem with it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY "coffee cup girl"
Some time... some day... some how... somewhere...we will meet again

Holloween

So the day had come afterall when almost everyone celebrates The Day Of The Dead.... the day when in some parts of the world like USA or Canada kids dress up in scarry costumes amd go from dor to door to trick`r treat and get candy. For every child holloween is kindof like Christmas cause they get lots of candy. In our country we celebrate the day of the dead a little differently...we go to the cemetery and we light candels say prears for our loveones that left this world.

I din`t really like this celebration cause unfortunatly to many of my loveones had past away and I can`t go and visit them all. So yesturday I went to visit my grandfather and my father ... but I didn`t had time to go and visit an other special person who left this world too soon but some day I will .

When we got back from the cementary it started to rain...the angels were crying ... as a sign that all of those that were in the cementary were not alone and I kindof felt good and peacefull inside when I saw the first drops of rain from the sky.

This is my holloween story ...`til next time see`ya!
P.S I miss them all

rain...

Some time ago I wrote to a dear friend of mine "there is a saying about the rain :"WHENEVER RAINS OUTSIDE THE ANGELS ARE CRYING" noone knows why the angels cry, maybe because they lost someone they love or just maybe cause someone dear to them, here on Earth is suffering. So they send rain as a message to let their loveones on Earth know that they ( the angels) are allways with them.So whenever you feel sad or you feel like everyone is against you and when you loock at the window and see that it`s raining, just know you`re not alone.In essence life was build in a perfect ballance.There allways was that fight between good and evil but one day the evil got greedy and tried to get every soul for himselph and the balance was distroyd.Eventualy God seeing that the evil is getting greedy, gived the human been a choice: TO BE GOOD OR BAD.So now we have our faith in our hands, we can keep the ballance or we can distroy everithing. And for every bad thing that we do we have to do ten good things to restore the balance cause bad things are allways easy to do and you don`t need alot of brain to do thembut to do a good thing takes alot of thinking involved and some of us simply don`t want to do a little effort"

I like rain mostly when I`m sad or angry cause I can`t cry whenever it rains I feel like the angels are crying for me and it makes me feel peacefull. Some people think that rain is the way that our lost love ones communicate with us, telling us that they`re allways watching us from Haven and that they`re sad or happy when we are. I personaly like to think so because it makes me feel less lonly, sometimes it makes me feel like I didn`t completly lost them, just that I can`t see them anymore.

So like I said before whenever you feel sad or lonly loock up to the sky and know that you`re not alone.

questions...

WHO?
WHEN?
WHY?
WHERE?
HOW LONG?
HOW? these are general questions that every human been has.
Usualy I have answers to almost anything, but, as every human been I also have some questions that I`ll never have the answer for. The most used question teenagers or young people have is "WHY?"... I ask myselph often "why" did I had to do the things I did evan or "why" did I hurt so many other people...
But now I wonder "why" was I given a secound chance, why me? why not someone else? cause there are alot more people in this world that pray for that secound chance all their life. A long time ago I was one of them, I wanted someone back so bad that I was ready to give my life so she could have her`s back, but that didn`t happen and as time past by I moved on but on a verry different path then the one she would want for me.
Now I have that secound chance and in her memory I won`t waist it, I`m a better man with a quiet life, sometimes is like I`m living in a dream...
Anyhow with this secound chance there are alot of questions involved : first is WHY? cause I didn`t do anything special ... But what I don`t really know is WHAT AM I SAPPOSED TO DO NEXT?
If someone has the answer to that question or at least an oppinion is welcomed to share it with me
~till next time ~see`ya~

fresh new start...

It`s been a while since I wrote the last article. At first I didn`t thought that I would write again but in the last week some good things happend and I was givven a secound chance in life. From now on I`m gonna start a new life and a better one I hope.Now the only thing I have to worry about is finding a job cause is damn hard to find one this days...

As answer to some of your questions about two of my articles "the movies... and the coffee cup story", YES there were the same two characters in bouth of the articles and as you thought one of them was me; and NO we are not dating, I thought that was clear that me and The Coffee Cup Girl are just friends (actualy she was more clear about this subject some time ago). Some other readers asked me "what will happen next?". Well I`m not a tipe of man that makes plans cause I`ve learned a long time ago that things don`t always go as you pland, so I guess we`ll just have to leave and see(or read).

Maybe this article is not so bright, maybe I got rusty or rustyer :) but again I hope you will enjoy reading it and the next to come
Until next time ...PEACE

cuvinte de ramas bun

Presupun ca ar fi trebuit sa scriu acest articol putin mai devreme ca raspuns al unei intrebari frecvente la adresa blogului si in special a articolelor mele, si anume " De ce scriu articolele in engleza?".

Ei bine am un raspuns relativ simplu la aceasta intrebare IMI PLACE. Dar totusi are legatura cu un anume eveniment din trecutul meu. Cam tot ce am invatat despre viata a fost de la o familie de americani stabilita intr-un oras nu departe de unde locuiesc; am invatat sa iubesc pentru prima data de la o persoana care abea putea pronunta doua cuvinte in limba romana, cuvinte care imi faceau inima sa creasca de bucurie atunci cand le auzeam, cuvinte in care am incetat sa mai cred in momentul in care ea s-a alaturat ingerilor.

De cand ma stiu mi`a placut sa invat o limba straina, am ales engleza pentru ca la un moment dat era cea mai vorbita limba pe plan international (poate ca si acum este, dar inafara Comunitatii Europene).

Dar am ales sa scriu articolele in limba engleza pentru ca intr-un fel imi aminteste de "zilele insorite" si de zambetul ei divin din fiecare zi cand eram impreuna. Stiu ca nimic nu va mai fi cum a fost, eu nu voi mai fi acelasi baiat nevinovat care vedea doar binele in toate si care nu vroia raul nimanui, practic acel baiat prostut a murit odata cu ea.
Acum imi voi continua viata lunga sau scurta, intunecata sau gri, cu toate cele bune si cu toate cele rele pana moartea ne va reuni.

Pe final as vrea sa multumesc tuturor vizitatorilor pentru ca au avut rabdare sa-mi citeasca articolele, cui nu le-a placut, sincer ma lasa rece, pentru ca in final a fost este si va fi viata mea.

Pentru moment imi iau ramas-bun de la voi toti.....

the "Movies" story...

This story has the same two characters as "The Coffee cup story"....only this time, I think the story ends here and maybe my blogg to.
The story beggins in a beautifull autumn Sunday evening (I say beautifull cause it wasn`t verry cold outside), when the guy asked the young lady to join him to the movies. Surprisely, for the first time since they knew each other she said "YES". Time had comed for him to go pick her up, but when he past by the little garden in front of his appartment, he saw a beautifull rose fighting with the cold to stay alive...
He tooked the rose and gived it to the young lady, but he firgot to tell her the flower`s story...so I`ll write some words that should have camed out of my mought yesturday night "THIS IS A SPECIAL ROSE FOR A SPECIAL LADY, CAUSE EVAN IF IT`S SENSITIVE TO COLD IT SURRVIVED ".
So they bouth went to the movie togather.Alldough, something strange happend to him all night long...he smiled and laught and I could have swored that he was happy.
The movie begund and they bouth paid attention to what was happening on the screan, but a few rows back there was a women with two young children that kept readding all the subbtitles outloud (this kindof enoyed him but also amused him in a strange way). The movie was a comedy and they bouth laught out loud ....
After the movie ended he walked her back home, but he never was at a movie with a lady friend (only with "a few" girlfriends....) so he didn`t knew what to do (It sounds pathethic, I know), so they stopt in front of her appartment building and started talking .... As the conversation went along she told him that in a few days she`ll move out from the town into a big city, cause she`s a freshman in college. He kindof got blue when he heard those words but didn`t want her to notice that so he wished her good night, turned arround and left.
My and also their story ends here...
IN THE END I wont be blue because it ended, I`ll be happy cause it happend (as once a good friend told me)

the Coffee cup story

This is a story about a girl, a guy and a cup of coffee.
The story bigins about two years ago, when, new in town a boy (at that point in time with a dark soul) surfed the net searching for something; what was he searching for?...I don`t remember. While waiting for his files to download, he mett a girl on something like a chatroom but not quite. They started talking and talking and talk some more, my guess was that they were becomeing friends,but they never saw each other face to face. At first they bouth appeard to have lots of things in commoun. After a while, they bouth mett for the first time in a saturday night inside a club, but he was dead drunk and didn`t really rememberd what happend in that night ( my guess is that nothing happend cause he couldn`t say a word) The next day, he send her a verry verry nasty and unappropriate instant message, that he truly regreted. When the girl saw the instant message, she got so angry that she sended him to hell and ignored all his messages, so they didn`t speeked to each outher for one year. After 1 year they`ve mett again in the same place they first mett, and he was still dead drunk. Insteed of saying "hi" he kindof danced with her ( I really wouldn`t call that a dance, but whatever). The next day he turned the world arround just to appologise to her for tha words he had said.At first he kept asking her to go with him and get a cup of coffee, but she always said "maybe some other time" or "no", she never said "yes". They got into anouther fight but I don`t remember why and stopt talking to each other again for a while. The school was about to end and they were bouth in senoiur year of highschool but at different schools, ( so he wrote a invitation with a special message to her)<> cause after she got it, she looked for him or at least she thankt him and they satrted talking again. After the summer ended, it was time for him to pay his dets so he wrote her a text message asking if she was gonna be home in a certain saturday morning. The morning had comed and it was a preety nasty weather outside and they bouth got thinking ("to go , not to go" " it`s 9.30 he`s not commeing, but maybe he is") then the interphone ringd and she camed down the stairs and they bouth had a (I think it was good) cup of coffee, and they laught and talked and laught some more The story is not ending here,so...TO BE CONTINUED.

cold...

This post is for a friend and it`s about cold weather about me against the world


Today I`ll write about a wave of cold air that maked allmost everyone think that the winter is comming. When I say "allmost everyone" I mean everyone but me. I don`t know for sure why from a while now I can`t feel cold, and when everyone putts their winter coat on, I`m wearing a simple tshirt and a summer jacket. I don`t really know why I don`t feel cold ...
Maybe it`s because lately I can`t feel almost anything, or maybe because my skin is thicker, or just maybe because I don`t care about the weather or sometimes about myselph or maybe I`m gust used to cold of all it`s kinds.
I like autumn cause the skys are mostly grey, and the weather is kindof darker (meaning that the sun doesn`t rise every dayand worms up the air so you feel good the entire day....It rises maybe once a week or once a mounth, ...it`s a little like me). I like to think autumn is a trial, to prepear everyone for something worse that`s about to come (the winter). Winter is not really my favorite season of the year, but lots of people love it because it`s mostly white and there is snow all arround. But of course like every outher season winter has it`s bad parts like the cold winds that freezes you to the bones, or the ice on the roads that causes lots of accidents, or evan avalanches in the mountain areas.
In the end of this post I would like to say that this probably isn`t my best work but noone is forced to read or like it, afterall this are just words in my mind.

thoughts.......

Today I`m gonna write a storry about the girl that pooled me out of the darkness
.
It`s gonna sound verry strange, but a long time ago I was a verry happy boy surrounded by people who loved him and he loved them back and more importantly he was inloved with a beautifull dark hair girl that ment the world to him. But one day it was time for that boy to grow up and become a man, that day was the day that his world died in frount of his eyes. Since that day on he wasn`t able to smile or laugh, he lost any memmory of what happyness and good means. He swored revange to those who tooked his love away. As time past his soul becamed darker and darker, he had his revange but that wouldn`t bring his girl back, but instead hi gaind alot of enemyis that wanted him dead. Once he had his revange nothing matterd anymore, so one day he was captured and tortured.But like a miracle he escaped, and a toomb stone was lifted with his name on it, so his enemies wouldn`t try to loock for him anymore<>.
After a few weeks since his toomb stone was lifted, he camed home to find peace and quiet, but he was still dark inside and noone knew what was wrong with him. One year has past since he returned home and the boy becamed a man but his soul was still crying for the one he lost.
One day he started going out with some of his brother`s friends and out of nowhere he sees a face of an angel that smiled at him for no reason. At first he didn`t paid to much attention to her cause she was younger and inocente and he had only one face in his mind. Weeks had passed and he started to change, he had a smile on his face again and sometimes he evan laught.Soon they were togather and he learnd to love again. Nothing matterd until one day when he returned home hurt and she started to argue with him about some stupid things that her friends told her about him. So he broked up with her thinking that she`ll be happyer without him.
After one year they accidently meet in the same place they first met, but evan if her eyes were glowing , she said that she doesn`t love him anymore that now she`s inloved with a taxi driver. When he heard those words, he tooked a last bow, turned arround and left, leaving her his soul and everything good that was left in him.
This is the story of the man with no soul and the girl who pooled him out of the dark.

perfection...

Ce este perfectiunea? Cum gasesti persoana perfecta? Exista o persoana perfecta?Exista acea zi perfecta? Acestea sunt intrebari carora multa lume le cauta raspunsul. Prin definitie perfectiunea este un lucru, un obiect, o masinarie care nu are niciun defect.Daca este asa, atunci cum gasesti persoana perfecta?La modul general vorbind nu exista o persoana perfecta. Dar pentru fiecare om in parte exista o anume persoana perfecta, cea in care se regaseste in unele privinte, iar in altele se completeaza unul pe celalalt. De multe ori credem ca am gasit acea persoana care ne completeaza, careia ii suntem loiali, alaturi de care putem duce asa zisa "viata perfecta", dar nu e asa.De cele mai multe ori dupa un scurt timp se rupe vraja care ne facea sa vedem totul "roz" iar lucrurile incep sa se strice. Nu este greu sa gasesti persoana care pentru tine este perfecta dar este nevoie de multa rabdare si intelegere, pentru ca iti ia timp sa cunosti o persoana asa cum este ea cu toate defectele si calitatile ei si nu de putine ori iti trebuie foarte mult timp. Deci o persoana perfecta nu exista in ochii nimanui, dar exista in inimile tuturor atata timp cat esti dispus sa accepti ca atat tu cat si persoana cu care iti imparti viata aveti atat defecte cat si calitati. Cat despre ZIUA PERFECTA eu unul nu am intalnit-o inca si sincer nu doresc nimanui s-o intalneasca prea curand pentru ca se spune ca ZIUA PERFECTA a unui om este ultima lui zi pe Pamant. In incheiere as vrea sa spun un singur lucru : nu conteaza daca esti bun sau rau, mare sau mic, puternic sau slab, cineva, undeva te considera perfect/a pentru ea/el

thoughts... for a friend...

It really doesn`t matter how many angels there are in this world, I know that there are more then one but only the one that left pooled me out of the darkness and I`m greatfull to her
Now that she`s gone (again) I`ll live my life at the edge ... with everything good and bad in it. At least now I won`t run from my past, I won`t run from who I am, cause the past is the past and I am who I am & I`ll allways be
A verry long time ago a friend of mine said to me something that I`ll never forget, he said that " what doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger ", true but when he said me that I was allready dead. So I answerd him that "YOU CAN`T KILL A DEAD MAN".
The good thing about being dead is that you can start over your life without anny interfeerence of your past, and this time you can choose how you will be
This is a little hard to understand, how come a dead man writes on his blog?, well my answer is just as simple... there are more ways to die.
But as my friend said or at least tried to say : "DON`T CRY CAUSE IT`S GONE, BE HAPPY CAUSE IT HAPPEND" so I`ll try to be happy cause it happend

just words in my mind

First of all I don`t even know why I created this blog. Maybe I did it just to be able to comment on one of my friend`s blog (she knows whw she is, or maybe not)
Annyway since I`m here I`ll talk about darkness in people`s hearts
What is darkness in one`s heart? Well every living soul on this Earth is devided in two parts light and dark. In the beginning everyone has his soul in an certain equilibrium meaning that the quantity of light ( the capacity to do good) and darkness (the capacity to do bad) are the same.While we grow up there are some events ( some that generate happyness, outhers that generate sadness ).
After you lost everything and everyone that you ever cared about, life becomes a little more difficult and the amount of darkness grows inside you and when you realise that is allready to late to change it.
At first you don`t see any difference in the way you act, but trust me everyone else sees anouther YOU, a person that they never thought that lies inside you. There is only one thing you can do to be a little like you once been: you can accept what you`ve becamed and then step by step try to schetch a smile on your face.
If you once loved now you hate, If you once were good now all you see is distruction, if you ever cared about someone now you only feel an emptyness inside and that emptyness fills wirh hate and dark thoughts
But when you think there`n no way out and noone cares about you, appears an angel who shares everything that she has with you and you don`t understand why is she so good and why do you feel different and worm inside. Soon because of her you change, you love you became you again and just like that the darknees dissappears into the light
But a miracle doesn`t last long and the angel you once met dissappears out of your life and you feel that could and empty place again
What to do? ...what to do?...
I`m not verry good with words, In the end this are just words in my mind.!
the end .